Sexercise Two: A 72-HOUR PASS FOR TWO
This Sexercise is a continuation of the article entitled “The Power of Married Masturbation.” These articles and Sexercises are designed to get you back to Sexual Eden in your Married Sex Life. They build upon one another in a sequence.
If you have not yet read that article and completed Sexercise One, we encourage you to do so before you read any further. If you have already read the article and completed Sexercise One, you are ready to proceed to the next step.
Sexercise Two will appear at first to be counter-intuitive when it comes to Great Married Sex. In fact, of all of the Sexercises that we will offer to our readers, this one (perhaps) will require the greatest level of trust, boldness, and communication for you and your partner. The assignment is simple, but its meaning and implications are very deep. It requires an open mind by both spouses and an unwavering commitment to honor God, each other, and your wedding vows.
You and your spouse are going to release each other to a 72-hour period of approved and endorsed self-pleasuring APART from each other. You are going to select any day within the next week or so to begin. You will start at 12:00:00AM on the first day and conclude at 11:59:59PM three days later.
Because this three-day Sexercise requires you both to experience more than one orgasm, choose days that are conducive to this activity. Days where you are going to be exceptionally busy, hosting company, or that fall during your (wife’s) menses are not ideal.
During this 72-hour period, you will commit to masturbate yourself to orgasm on a MINIMUM of two separate occasions. By “separate occasions,” we mean different “sessions” over the three-day period. If you have more than one orgasm during a session, that still only counts as one “occasion.” You can feel free to pleasure yourself as often as you like during this Sexercise. There are no limits. The only thing that you must do is complete the baseline number of TWO separate sessions in which you bring yourself to orgasm at least once.
We feel that 72 hours is MORE than enough time to have two orgasms if you are physiologically and emotionally healthy enough for sexual activity. Generally speaking, having an orgasm via masturbation is significantly less time-consuming than with a partner. Consider the following findings from sex researchers:
Men can usually reach orgasm within 2-4 minutes no matter whether they are having intercourse or masturbating
Women, however, who usually require 10-20 minutes of stimulation to climax during intercourse, can climax via masturbation in an average time of less than four minutes.
Masturbation is so efficient simply because it wastes no effort on any other form of stimulation than what is suited for the desired pleasure. In other words, when a person masturbates, they are in the zone 100% of the time.
The rules that you both are agreeing to abide by during this time are as follows:
- You are not to discuss any what, where, when, and/or how details with your spouse. You already know that both of you are on an assignment; so there is no need to discuss it while it is going on.
- You are to masturbate ALONE, without being discovered by your spouse. This may require you to get creative, especially if you are generally in each other’s space a lot. You will have to find/make time for this to happen. If you stumble upon your spouse during a session of self-pleasure, that is fine. If practical, excuse yourself from the room/place that you discovered your spouse, and allow the exercise to continue. Do not stop your spouse from completing their session if at all possible.
- During this self-pleasuring time, you must follow strict rules about what images you focus on –
You can focus your thoughts on the act that you are doing (i.e. the simple eroticism of what you are doing)
You can focus your thoughts on your spouse – their body, etc.
You can focus on thoughts of you and your spouse engaged in sexual activity together. This can be ANY form of activity that fits within the walls of the garden and simultaneously gives you feelings of pleasure.
Wives – think of what arouses you. If you find that it is pleasurable to meditate on your husband’s body, penis, hands, scent, etc., then that is acceptable. Or, if you want to imagine your husband caressing, touching, rubbing, licking, or pleasing you in ANY way, that is acceptable too. Finally, if you want to focus on actual intercourse with your husband (in any position, at any pace, and in any place that you desire), this is also acceptable.
Husbands – think of what arouses you. If you find that it is pleasurable to meditate on your wife’s body, vagina, backside, breasts, hands, scent, etc., then that is acceptable. Or, if you want to imagine your wife caressing, touching, rubbing, licking, or pleasing you in ANY way, that is acceptable too. Finally, if you want to focus on actual intercourse with your wife (in any position, at any pace, and in any place that you desire), this is also acceptable.
You CANNOT imagine anything that falls outside of the garden walls. This means that you CANNOT include any act that involves another person. You are also prohibited from imagining any act of violence, humiliation, or degradation.
Although we will have exercises that deal with this in the future, we also ask that you refrain from relying on imaginations that focus on the fact that your spouse is also masturbating at some time/place during this 72-hour period. We don’t want your imagination to be voyeuristic in this Sexercise. We don’t want you brining yourself to climax simply based off of your knowledge that your spouse could also be somewhere bringing himself or herself to climax.
Finally, it should go without saying that pornography or sexual material (past or present) in ANY form is strictly prohibited. Use the mental pictures that you already have of YOUR SPOUSE. Use them as a “sex doll” in your mind, positioning them in just the right fashion/activity to give you a mind-blowing, body-tingling orgasm.
4. While you are masturbating, you may touch yourself in ANY place and in ANY way that you desire. Find and do WHATEVER gives you the greatest sense of pleasure. If you want to refer to the article on SOLO FLIGHT as a guide to get your started, you may. Keep in mind, however, that Sexercise Two is not about self-discovery; it is about self-pleasure. In this assignment, you get to go right for what you enjoy the most.
5. We want you to complete this assignment in a variety of different methods. If at all possible, commit to mixing things up a little bit during each session. Try masturbating to orgasm in different positions (sitting, kneeling, standing, lying down). Also, try to bring yourself to climax with different strokes and rhythms.
Wives – in addition to following your own pathway to orgasm, we also want you to see if you are able to achieve at least one orgasm in a hands-free method. You can do this by rubbing yourself up against any object that will provide adequate clitoral stimulation. This can be a pillow, folded towel, smooth arm of a chair, etc. While you are rubbing up against this object, try to imagine the shaft/base of your husband’s penis stimulating your clitoris. If you find that you are unable to achieve orgasm in this fashion, this is no problem, but at least take a moment to see if anything like this brings you a sense of sexual pleasure.
Husbands – in addition to following your desired pleasure path, we also want to try to do something with your hands that will simulate the feeling of your wife’s vagina. Cupping your two hands together and “inserting” your penis inside can do this. You can use your hands to simulate the pressure of your wife’s vagina and begin to thrust back and forth while imagining intercourse with your wife. See if you are able to have a climax in this fashion.
For this Sexercise, the only aid that we permit to be used is some form of lubricant if you desire it. There are to be no sex toys, or anything used as a sex toy (items other than fingers inserted in the vagina, anus, or otherwise). Furthermore, there is to be no stimulation of your genitals by any sensation/instrument other than your hands (no streams of water, fabric/material, etc.). With the exception of the permission given to the wives to rub up against some non-sexual object, all pleasuring must be self generated and sustained.
Those are the rules that you MUST abide by. To break these will not only be a violation of the trust that your spouse is placing in you, but a devastating assault on your joint pursuit of Great Married Sex.
Again, let me state that you should not be talking to each other about what you are doing. There may be a slight sense of awkwardness and a smirk that appears uncontrollably on your face as you are around each other before and after the acts that you know you are both doing. It may even be evident to you that your spouse has recently finished masturbating. As tempting as it might be to make a comment, just push through it. Smile politely, be sympathetic and encouraging, and keep on moving. There will be plenty of time to discuss the assignment when it is over.
For this assignment to work properly, you are not to have sexual intercourse or other sexual activity with each other during these three days. As you get into it and you notice that you are feeling aroused, your job is to find time to steal away somehow and somewhere and to “relieve” yourself. You may find that this energy will snowball, because sexual things will be on your mind A LOT over this time period. Be at peace, because you have been given a license to address the problem at any time and in any way that fits within the rules.
Touch yourself often. Touch yourself all over. Think of you and/or your spouse doing whatever you want that turns you on. Do it in bed. Do it in the shower. Do it wherever you won’t be caught or discovered. It is VERY IMPORTANT that you don’t do this PRIVATE act in any setting that is even remotely public. If there is a chance that someone other than your spouse could catch you “wet-handed” in a particular place, then DO NOT DO IT THERE. We not only want you to avoid the possibility of causing offence to someone, but we also want you to avoid making the local news, especially for this.
Before we close, let’s add two final things. First of all, if you sense apprehension about doing this assignment, then talk it through with your spouse. Do you have concerns about your ability to trust your spouse? Are you self-conscious about the very idea? Do you feel “naughty” or “sinful?” You may need to read this assignment over and over again before you decide that you are ready to step into it. If you are like most folks, however, it only takes about a day or so to get really excited about trying this experiment. Do it as a couple. Take the challenge and have fun with it.
Finally, please understand that the REAL POWER of this assignment does not happen within the three days that it is going on. The true fruit from this 72-hour pass comes from the debriefing that you will have with your spouse after the assignment is over. It is those questions and answers that will propel you to new heights in your pursuit of Great Married Sex. When you have finished your 72-Hour Assignment, go to the Sexercise Two Follow-Up, and follow the simple instructions.
Enjoy your three days and three nights. A new level of intimacy with your lover awaits you on the other side.